Maybe I do wanna be a french fry!
We'll get to that in a second. First off, wegmans has partially redeemed itself. Why? Because I walked in today needing milk, and they had it right up front, in an easy to find location. I'm sure that they put it there to remind people that they needed it when they were buying their hair gel, and barbeque forks, which were positioned strategically on either side of the milk. Shit faced blind gypsies, I'm telling you.
Over the past year or so, I've heard the same thing from about 75% of the people I know in this world. Each one of them is part of a vast conspiracy, each one of them has been fooled into believing that time-shifted television is better than scheduled television. Each one of them has said the words "You need TIVO" at some point over the past year. That includes my boss, my friends, my coworkers, and even my sister and brother-in-law. I've got news for all y'all(yup, just said "all y'all"). TIVO sucks.
Why do I feel this way? My friends who have TIVO never know whats going on, I have to constantly remind them of season premiers, and even completely new series that look promising(psyche, eureka), AND 95 percent of people with TIVO will not laugh when you utter the words "Maybe I do wanna be a french fry!", with a chicken accent, because they weren't watching the commercials when it came on. Sure, it was nestled(yup, said nestled) in between some kind of "cure my pissing problem" commercial, and an "femanine problem" commercial, but trust me, the chicken commercial is worth the other 1 minute and 30 seconds of my life that was wasted by pharmecutical companies.
Now, I've fallen into the reality TV trap. This sucks badly. I accidentally got hooked on "The Contender", and although I know less about boxing than I know about the dietary patterns of mexican non-migratory flightless birds(and I don't know very much about that at all), I find myself sitting up on my couch screaming things like "Get INSIDE! He's killing you with the jab!", and "Emmer effer, you can't win if you don't punch him!", or "WTF! When he charges you, side-step, then bam-bam, 1-2, MAKE HIM PAY!". Luckily, I watch the contender alone, because I don't really know if that's the kind of stuff you say when someone is boxing, but I seem to have a knack for picking the looser as the guy I want to win.
OK, with that being said...."Maybe I DO wanna be a french fry!"
Later.
Over the past year or so, I've heard the same thing from about 75% of the people I know in this world. Each one of them is part of a vast conspiracy, each one of them has been fooled into believing that time-shifted television is better than scheduled television. Each one of them has said the words "You need TIVO" at some point over the past year. That includes my boss, my friends, my coworkers, and even my sister and brother-in-law. I've got news for all y'all(yup, just said "all y'all"). TIVO sucks.
Why do I feel this way? My friends who have TIVO never know whats going on, I have to constantly remind them of season premiers, and even completely new series that look promising(psyche, eureka), AND 95 percent of people with TIVO will not laugh when you utter the words "Maybe I do wanna be a french fry!", with a chicken accent, because they weren't watching the commercials when it came on. Sure, it was nestled(yup, said nestled) in between some kind of "cure my pissing problem" commercial, and an "femanine problem" commercial, but trust me, the chicken commercial is worth the other 1 minute and 30 seconds of my life that was wasted by pharmecutical companies.
Now, I've fallen into the reality TV trap. This sucks badly. I accidentally got hooked on "The Contender", and although I know less about boxing than I know about the dietary patterns of mexican non-migratory flightless birds(and I don't know very much about that at all), I find myself sitting up on my couch screaming things like "Get INSIDE! He's killing you with the jab!", and "Emmer effer, you can't win if you don't punch him!", or "WTF! When he charges you, side-step, then bam-bam, 1-2, MAKE HIM PAY!". Luckily, I watch the contender alone, because I don't really know if that's the kind of stuff you say when someone is boxing, but I seem to have a knack for picking the looser as the guy I want to win.
OK, with that being said...."Maybe I DO wanna be a french fry!"
Later.
posted by delinx32 @ 5:03 PM
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1 Comments:
At 4:59 AM ,
crazykarl7 said...
For the simple fact that you can pause TV, go to the bathroom, make a sandwich, and answer the phone (although not in that particular order) then come back to the TV and pick up right where you left off is the reason why TV is so great. I realize that's a runon sentence, but I'm still waking up.
I actually have some contender on Tivo..I'll have to watch them now.
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