I swear to butterflies that this actually happened.

Tao=God, Tao=everything, Butterflies in [everything], therefore swearing to butterflies=swearing to god.

I was sitting at quiznos, and at the table next to me there was this conversation:

Girl "They had a nutritionist lady on good morning America, and she said that eating a red hot chili pepper in the morning will curb your appetite!"

Guy "Really?"

Girl "That's what she said, a red hot chili pepper will curb your appetite and help you loose weight because you won't be as hungry!"

Guy "Wow, I can't believe it!"

OK, I paraphrased a bit, but that's the jist of it. So all this time, I've been eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and fresh fruit to curb my appetite and loose weight, and I could have been eating red hot chili peppers instead? Holy moly, that's sooooo easy. That's it, I'm getting on the red hot chili pepper diet bandwagon.

Why the hell are people always looking for an easy way out? Peppers curb your appetite? C'mon lady, even if they do, no nutritionist in her/his right mind would ever recommend eating nothing but a pepper for breakfast.

Eat your freaking breakfast. Have pancakes, or peanut butter and jelly, or a fruit bowl, or a fiberful cereal and your stupid appetite will be curbed. When you get hungry again, eat a piece of freaking fruit! What's so hard about that?

Chili peppers. That made my decision for me, I'm cancelling cable.

Disclaimer: Any personal injury resulting in the accidental ingestion of a red hot chili peppers CD and/or jewel case or insert is the responsibility of the eater, and "Grinchin it up" takes no responsibility for said stupidity.

Edit: I actually found a link to the book, http://www.enotalone.com/article/4163.html. Jeebies, I wish I had a "before" picture of myself so I can write a book about how I lost 50 lbs on the peanut butter and jelly diet. Then I can go on oprah and get rich.