Toys for Tots

As I was getting my saturday quiznos (as opposed to my thursday quiznos), I noticed a toys for tots truck parked outside. I thought "what would the mountain goats do?". Well, they would say "when chances fall in your lap like that, you gotta recognize them for what they really are.". So, POW, its off to pants'n'at. OK, ok, there isn't a pants'n'at in the area, so I went to target.

My original idea was to buy toys for girls and boys, but I thought, man, I don't don't really know anything about little girls, other than the few things I remember from my childhood. Those things are:
A) They're icky,
B) they have cooties, and
C) they don't like cool shit like guns and robots.

How do you buy toys for icky people with cooties that don't like guns and robots? You don't, you leave that to more experience people and stay within your depth, playing to your expertize. My expertize? Guns and robots! Yeah!

OK, so at first I thought, this is going to be hard, I don't know any little boys, and I don't know what kids are into these days. So I thought to myself, "what would I want?". Well, the one thing that I always wanted and never got was a remote control truck. I got a remote control car once, and that was sweet, but the problem with a remote control car in the winter is snow. You can't take it outside and you can't fully enjoy it inside, so you have to wait until spring. I passed the remote control cars by and got a big ol truck with big ol tires that will go on the snow(if we have any), it has flames on the side too, kids love flames on cars.

Secondly, my favorite toy that I ever got was a large robotic dinosaur. Sure, I mostly liked it because it had little rubber pieces on it that fell of and were good to chew on, but I also liked it because not only was it a robot, but it was a dinosaur as well. Back in those days, robots weren't cool. They took 2 steps and fell over. The spit foam things out of their mouths and had light bulbs for eyes. I fully believe that that's why they put the chewy rubber things on it. To make it fun.

So, I bought a robo raptor. It looks a lot more sleek and well built than my dinosaur, and there aren't any rubber things for kids to choke on. But again robot+dinosaur=success.

Thirdly, I decided to buy a gift for girls after all. I bought a shockwave transformer action figure! Who doesn't like transformers? They rock. They're not as cool as they were back in the day, but whatever. I'm sure she'll dig it (or she'll give it to her brother and play with barbies or something).

OK, me and the kiga are going for a hike at shades of death. Have a nice day.